The late Bishop Desmond Tutu once said, “There is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time.” That really has nothing to do with this, but it’s about an elephant, so that’s close enough. Actually, I’m going to ignore this advice and attack this subject head-on. Am I settling down? Am I done traveling? Has Melissa forced me off the road against my will?
Looking at the chain of events objectively, I see how some might reach this conclusion. I traveled alone for almost three years. I met Melissa. I followed her home. Now I’m staying here with her instead of traveling like I used to. I also have a history of, let’s just say, not necessarily making the best choices when it comes to relationships. So, on the surface, it could look like I’m throwing away my life of travel and happiness to be with her instead.
I am not. I am choosing to stay still with her because being with her makes me happy. I missed her quite a bit when she flew home for a week while we were paused in Pahrump. This is when I realized that I am happier being with her than being without her. This is what influenced my decision to travel to Arkansas with her when she realized she was running low on travel funds and had to do the responsible thing. Yes, the fact that Arkansas was one of only five (now four) states in the lower 48 I hadn’t visited was another reason, as well as the stories I’d heard about the wonderful motorcycling here. I didn’t know how long the stay would be at the time, but that’s what brought me here.
The hope was, and still is, that Melissa can find decently paying remote work that will enable us to travel when and where we want. But finding a decent remote job is extremely difficult these days. It seems that half the job listings out there are fake, and the other half are scams that want you to pay them for the privilege of working for them. Finding her remote work is still the goal, but she’s once again done the responsible thing and taken a local job to pay the bills. That ties her down to this area for the time being. I would rather be with her than without her, and she feels the same way about me, so I’m choosing the extended stay here rather than continuing my travels alone.
We’re not giving up on the idea of traveling again at some point. That’s still the goal. There are still many places she wants to see that she hasn’t yet, as well as some that neither of us have seen and want to explore together. The van is set up for both of us now, as we tested at Mulberry Mountain. Although we are talking about a more permanent encampment up on the hill where we first started, I have no plans to get rid of the van. We still want to do smaller camping trips locally, and perhaps occasionally more distantly once we have the time and money sorted out.
Three years has been a good run for my full-time travel. I’ve been all over the country, especially last year’s big loop around the entire US. Honestly, I’m rather enjoying not having to constantly figure out the next place I’m allowed to park, not to mention easy access to a real bathroom with a shower. The household air conditioner, while not quite powerful enough to keep up with a heat wave, does make a big difference and keeps it comfortable in the van when it gets hot and humid outside, which is what happens in the South. I’ve never considered myself a “nomad 4 lyfe, yo” like some people I know. That’s great for them, but I’ve always thought I was out here looking for my next home. I’ve had a vague plan of finding myself a piece of land, building a tiny house on it, traveling for part of the year, and returning to my home base for part of the year as well. One big reason why I’ve traveled so far and wide these past three years is to figure out where, one day, I might like to have this home base.
I’ve been looking for a location. I didn’t realize that home could feel like a person instead. I feel that way about Melissa. I’m choosing this life with her. She has in no way dragged me off the road against my will. I wasn’t looking to meet someone special like her. I’d actually given up hope that something like this would ever happen to me. But here she is, and I’d be a fool not to see where this goes.
As a result, I’ve drastically slowed down how much I’m writing here. This website is about my travel adventures, and I’m not traveling at this point, at least not in the van. At least a few of you sometimes get worried when I don’t post here for a while. Please note that I am okay. I won’t be posting as frequently as I used to, and that’s okay, too.
I’m still enjoying exploring the area by motorcycle. To that end, I’m reviving my old YouTube channel specifically for motorcycle stuff. It existed for years before I started my van life channel, or van life at all. I stopped posting there because it made more sense to start a new channel for a new audience interested in van life than to drag my existing audience of motorcycle people over to a different topic they may not be interested in. I’ve also taken the opportunity to rename it since, while it’ll still be about bike stuff, I’m going to do it differently than I have in the past. So, if you want to see more bike stuff, go check out Knerd Rider, because I’m a great big nerd with a Knight Rider obsession and enjoy things that have multiple meanings.
Smokey Da Van 