Mr. and Mrs. Smokey

It’s been a whirlwind of a week, with a wedding, a funeral, and a huge jumble of feelings about both all mixed together at once. I’ll tell you a story.

I hadn’t said anything publicly at the time since the story wasn’t mine to tell, but it’s all public knowledge now. The emergency trip to Texas in late October (when we visited the Heavener Runestone along the way) was because Melissa’s dad suddenly became ill and was admitted to the hospital. To make a long story short, it was aggressive liver cancer, and he didn’t have much time left. We helped get her parents situated at home after he went into hospice care. That visit was unplanned, but we kept our previously existing plans to visit again the week before Thanksgiving, especially under the circumstances.

Meanwhile, Melissa and I had already been talking about the possibility of marriage. Although in the past I’d sworn up and down I’d never do it again, I’d also never met anyone like her. She likes to say she turned my world upside down. It’s true and in the best possible way. I’d already been planning to pop her the question toward the end of the year or the beginning of next. With her dad not long for the world, I decided to do it earlier so we’d be engaged during our pre-Thanksgiving visit. That visit went well. He even had the energy to walk outside, climb up into the van, check it out, and ask me all kinds of questions about it. We had a good week together. I promised him I would take care of Melissa.

We’d been thinking of having the wedding in May. Then she decided she didn’t want to wait that long. I was fine with that. I intended to follow through whenever. Even talking about a smaller event in January was stressing us out — the date, the location, who to invite, etc. In the end, Melissa told me she’d be fine with just going to a Justice of the Peace and getting it done. In fact, if we did it quickly enough, we could video conference her dad in to see it. So, on Monday, December 9, we decided to do it on Friday, December 13 (yes, Friday the 13th — since when do we do anything normal?)

Sadly, her dad passed away on Wednesday, December 11.

My first thought was to put off the wedding. I figured we should deal with the funeral and all that first, then reschedule the JP afterward so we weren’t dealing with everything all at once. But Melissa really wanted to stick to the plan, mainly because that’s what her dad would’ve wanted her to do. How could I argue with that? From what little I’d gotten to know him, I agreed with her that that’s what he would’ve wanted. And so, on December 13, we became Mr. and Mrs. Smokey Da Van.

It’ll be a short stop at home (I’m still getting used to having a home). Melissa and I need some time to ourselves, so we’ve booked a campsite to get away, just the two of us (and Lister), for a little time away and to be with each other. I’m accustomed to campgrounds being all shut down for winter in the frozen north, but that’s not the case here, so we’re going to take advantage of that. More on that another time.